Grandma --
It has been two years without you in my life -- years I never wanted to imagine
They say time heals -- but they don't know me as you did
They don't understand how visual the images are that visit my mind
They don't know that I felt you leave me -- before I was even told that you were gone

The emptiness I felt as I looked into your face
which once brightened with the radiance that lived inside you
A radiance that danced in your eyes when you and I found where we belonged
I saw it leave as it was replaced by an empty shell that did nothing -- but resemble you

I promised to be strong for you -- I failed at times
This world -- so full of people can be very lonely and heartless at times
I allowed the nothing to swallow me up entirely
And then felt the shame of what I had done -- I had given up on a promise that I had made to you

A Promise -- that whatever hardships come my way
I will reach out just a little farther to acheive my goals
No matter what life throws at me I will keep striving to succeed
I had you as an example -- you never gave up -- you never complained

I have no way of placing these words in your hands
I am not even certain you can hear them now
At times I believe I can still feel you near -- just a flickering moment
So, Grandma I hope your listening wherever you are

I took you for granted
Thinking -- you would be here forever to catch me
Thinking -- I could call out "Save me Grandma! Save Me!" and you would always be there
Thinking -- I miss you Grandma, and I wish you were here

Property of Joy Elaine -- November 29, 2000